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When Faith Feels Like Insanity
Guys… I’m running out of people who believe in us. At least it seems that way. People who once believed that we could do this… are starting to turn on us. People who never believed we could do this… are verbal about it now. People who thought we were crazy before… now are sure of it. I’m sure it’s mostly our own faults. I’m sure the gossip they spread is true to them. Sadly enough… I don’t doubt that they gossip. I can’t talk to people about my life and hopes and dreams anymore. I have found too often that doing so results in everyone else’s insecurities being chucked at…
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The Results of the Movie Watching Saga
We really should have started watching the SAG-Award nominations the moment they showed up on our porch. In all reality… we probably should have been watching way more TV shows all year to be able to vote with confidence. But… regardless, we are done. The SAG-Award votes had to be turned in by Friday, January 17th as the awards were being given out Sunday the 19th. We were able to get through so many good films. I decided to only vote for the film categories. There were just so many television series to watch. We attempted to watch a few but after one episode it was difficult to judge someone’s…
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SAG Awards
One fun aspect of being a member of the Screen Actor’s Guild is the fact that we get to vote for the SAG Awards. We started receiving packages in the mail at the end of December. At first I was confused as to what they were. I tend to just take all SAG mail and hand it to Ben to deal with. I don’t pay much attention to it because, for the most part, I am busy with getting paint off of hands, prepping meals, and teaching four children important stuff. Maybe this time I should have paid better attention. Every day we would get more and more letters and…
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Good Things to Come
This November I am grateful for being a mother. Just shortly after Ben and I got married we decided to have children. We had such a powerful feeling that God had children waiting for us and that we should allow them into our home and our lives. I wanted to finish my degree first. Ben wanted to finish school. We lived in a tiny, one bedroom, 450 square foot apartment. We had been married for a few weeks and trying to figure out married life. Having a baby right away seemed like a ridiculous step… but our guide had shown us a better way, so we decided to start our…
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Freedom
This Thanksgiving season I am grateful for freedom. We live in a land where we claim to have freedom to live according to our beliefs and convictions. Now… I used to believe that. As a young naive child, I was fed the idea that we live in a free land. A place where people came from lands far away to escape from persecution. This land was founded as a land of liberty where people could live their religions, convictions, and lives free from tyranny. I have since grown up. Sadly enough… the freedom I once believed in has long been replaced by a cheap off brand version of the real…
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Barefoot
When I was sixteen years old I was given the opportunity to visit my mom’s home country, El Salvador. I remember the view from the plane as I looked out the window at the country below. The landscape was absolutely brilliant with a vibrant green that I had never before witnessed. Visiting this beautiful land was the chance of a lifetime. I would finally get to see the country of my ancestors and in so doing understand the life my mother lived that much more. Our party included my uncle, aunt and three cousins as well as my grandmother and my elder brother. The first place we stayed was a…
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Gratitude
This November I want to focus on being grateful. I have so much to be grateful for, as do we all, and yet sometimes, life’s troubles seem to overwhelm my sense of gratitude. I’m going to treat gratitude as a muscle that needs exercise to maintain (or increase) it’s strength. So, here it goes. This November I am grateful for my darling husband. Even with all the ridiculousness he puts me through. The choosing to be an actor rather than taking a traditional path, the “it’ll all work out” attitude, and the fact that he sometimes has to be reminded to laugh at my really awesome jokes. I truly am…
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Secrecy
Much of being on set is very hush hush. Film makers love surprises. They don’t want everyone to know the movie magic and plans before they hit the theaters and television screens. So, part of my job is being an excellent secret keeper. For example, I was on a set recently for a commercial. It was a Coke/Netflix collaborative effort commercial. I had to sign two intense documents stating that I was not allowed to take photos, talk about the set or even hypothesize on social media or in person etc. This particular commercial had ten hairdressers, ten make-up artists, four costumers (even though everyone had been pre-fit into costumes…
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I’m back!
I’m sorry that I haven’t written in ages. Here’s the truth: I don’t write when I’m sad or angry. Well, the last post I wrote was an exception to that rule, but in general… I can’t even begin to explain how hard this part of my life has been (and still is) for me. I’ve been struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, depression, anger, and I’ve wanted so many times to turn my back on God. I’m not proud of that. I haven’t been the person I know I want to be. I’ve had a difficult time finding the joy in the journey. Now… don’t get me wrong, I’m not miraculously cured.…
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Nomads
There’s something special about the word “home.” You know that feeling you get when you’re travelling, and you’ve had a blast, but you’ve been gone long enough that you just want to be done invading other people’s homes and spaces? To be in a place where you have your own routines, your own habits? Where you can just throw on some sweats and sit in front of a TV and eat a pint of ice cream? Or decide you can’t handle life for a day, so you leave a huge mess in your house because you can clean it up in the morning? Have you ever felt like not making…
