Sacrifice
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Thank You For Your Time
The job of an actor is varied, dedicated, and time consuming. When Ben was acting full time in LA he would usually have eight to twelve hours on set. That’s not including the time he would spend driving there (sometimes up to two hours), applying for jobs, networking, creating content, and developing skills. His weeks were often between fifty to seventy hour work weeks if not more. Now that he has a day job his days are just as long. He not only works his 40 hours a week for his day job, he also works at least 15 hours on acting/producing/screenwriting. When he was a banker we could expect…
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Shutting Down and Getting Out
I wasn’t doing well. In fact, I felt so broken I couldn’t even talk about it… or write about it. There were things that were happening in my mind, my soul, and my body that weren’t right or normal. I was trying as hard as I could to “take care of myself,” but I knew I needed help. There were things that I couldn’t control no matter how hard I worked or prayed. In fact, here I am… finally writing this all down, a year and a half later, crying my eyes out because I can’t accurately portray how truly broken I felt. But, it’s part of the story and…
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When Faith Feels Like Insanity
Guys… I’m running out of people who believe in us. At least it seems that way. People who once believed that we could do this… are starting to turn on us. People who never believed we could do this… are verbal about it now. People who thought we were crazy before… now are sure of it. I’m sure it’s mostly our own faults. I’m sure the gossip they spread is true to them. Sadly enough… I don’t doubt that they gossip. I can’t talk to people about my life and hopes and dreams anymore. I have found too often that doing so results in everyone else’s insecurities being chucked at…
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Freedom
This Thanksgiving season I am grateful for freedom. We live in a land where we claim to have freedom to live according to our beliefs and convictions. Now… I used to believe that. As a young naive child, I was fed the idea that we live in a free land. A place where people came from lands far away to escape from persecution. This land was founded as a land of liberty where people could live their religions, convictions, and lives free from tyranny. I have since grown up. Sadly enough… the freedom I once believed in has long been replaced by a cheap off brand version of the real…
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Gratitude
This November I want to focus on being grateful. I have so much to be grateful for, as do we all, and yet sometimes, life’s troubles seem to overwhelm my sense of gratitude. I’m going to treat gratitude as a muscle that needs exercise to maintain (or increase) it’s strength. So, here it goes. This November I am grateful for my darling husband. Even with all the ridiculousness he puts me through. The choosing to be an actor rather than taking a traditional path, the “it’ll all work out” attitude, and the fact that he sometimes has to be reminded to laugh at my really awesome jokes. I truly am…
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I’m back!
I’m sorry that I haven’t written in ages. Here’s the truth: I don’t write when I’m sad or angry. Well, the last post I wrote was an exception to that rule, but in general… I can’t even begin to explain how hard this part of my life has been (and still is) for me. I’ve been struggling with self-doubt, anxiety, depression, anger, and I’ve wanted so many times to turn my back on God. I’m not proud of that. I haven’t been the person I know I want to be. I’ve had a difficult time finding the joy in the journey. Now… don’t get me wrong, I’m not miraculously cured.…
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Our Decision to Homeschool
You read that right. We’re homeschooling. This past week Jess and Liz had their last day of public school. It feels like it should have been bitter sweet… but to be honest, it was just sweet. We have always made it a focus to have a stable home for our children. Once we made the decision to move to California to pursue acting, we realized that we’d have to change how we defined stability. Moving is often difficult; and moving in with my parents, we knew that, sooner or later, we would have to move again. But we figured we decided that wherever we are, as long as we’re together,…
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A New Addition to the Family
We’d like to announce a new addition to the family! Before we get to that, though, here’s a quick recap of our story for those who are new. I am a wife and mother to four beautiful girls. Yes, four. I left a beautiful home that I love, and moved in with my parents so my wonderful husband, Ben, could pursue a career in acting. Since moving out to California last February, my hubby has been in TV shows, films, and even a few commercials. In addition, he also writes and produces his own shows. Recently, we produced our very first short film (for the posts on our short film…
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Flattery
One of my favorite things about doing background work these last couple months is the social aspect. While we do work plenty, there is also usually a fair amount of time where I get to just sit around and chat with the other background actors. I’ve met some lovely people. And they always make me feel good about myself; I’m constantly being flattered. My favorite part about it, however, is the shock factor. I don’t know why I get such a kick out of it… but I do. Here I am sitting with a group of people my age. We’re usually discussing acting and the jobs we have recently worked.…
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The Producer
Guys… I’m tired. I mean… more than usual. Ben and I decided to produce our own short film. We have been trying to get a film reel but have had not many chances at lead roles without a reel. So… Ben decided to write his own scripts so he can then film them and guarantee a piece for his reel that he’s happy with. We decided the first week of December that we had enough connections in Utah to cast and produce a low-budget short film. We were planning on going to Utah for Christmas so we figured that throwing in a short film would be hard work… but would…
