Decluttering the Kids Room
Now, to tackle the toys. The playroom/schoolroom was in a constant state of disorder and disarray. Getting my kids to clean it was impossible. They were overwhelmed and so was I. I was done. So done. But in order to get my kiddos on board I needed to go about this in a way that allowed them to understand the “why” of minimizing. They had been raised in a more-is-more environment. In fact, I had unintentionally trained them to place so much value on their stuff to the point that everything was made to feel special and needed. I needed to find a way to retrain them. I took a few days to draft a plan; then I put that plan into place. Here’s how it went.
First, I needed to teach the kiddos what our possessions should be and do for us. They needed to see firsthand that their items should serve them instead of ruling them.
Next we needed to take emotion out of the decision making in order to change our habits to healthier ones. In order to do this we would make rules for our items, so that as we went through them we could be sure they fit our values and earn a place in our home. We would then declutter with those rules in mind.
Last step was to test out our area without those items and see if we enjoyed it, bringing back only select items that truly were used, loved, and missed.
In order to teach the kiddos why we were even worried about decluttering, they needed to see first hand what cost their items had on them. It had to become personal. The only way they’d see was to show them how much time we were wasting on cleaning up the playroom every day. I told the kiddos that we were going to start a stopwatch and I wanted to see how long it would take us to clean up and put everything in its proper place. “Ready, set, go!” I yelled as we all raced to put everything in its place in the entire playroom. No joke, even with my help, it took a little over an hour. An hour, folks!
After picking up I sat the kiddos down and asked them what they could have done in an hour if they didn’t have to clean the playroom. We made a massive list of all the things we would rather be doing: go to the park, play outside, play with the toys, build a puzzle, bake, make dinner, hang out with family, sing, dance, etc. I let them know that cleaning the playroom was something that Daddy and I expected to happen daily so we could live in an environment that was inviting and allowed us to do a lot of the things on our list. They were overwhelmed with the expectation. They also began to realize the catch-22 of the situation. If they cleaned, they wouldn’t have time to play. If they played, they wouldn’t have time to clean. Finally they understood the pressure I was under every day. I asked them if fifteen minutes seemed like a good amount of time to sacrifice so that they could keep their toys and enjoy using them. They all agreed that fifteen minutes was ideal. It had been quite a day, so we decided to take a break and leave the toys alone for the rest of the night so we could move on to step two the next day when we were fresh and ready for change.
The next morning we proceeded to make rules for our toys. We decided on a space that we could devote to them that would give us a physical boundary to work with. We owned a 3×3 bin storage container that could house up to nine different toy types. It felt like the perfect amount. We then sat down together to write down our toy rules. Ben and I had rules we added and the kiddos came up with quite a few rules too. Here’s an example of what that looked like at the time.
If a toy broke any of the rules we put it aside in a bin that was going into storage. We made sure to tell the kiddos that if they truly missed and used an item we could still get it back before the toys went away. The rules were super effective! We literally dumped out the toys bin by bin and looked at each item critically. A light up spinning baby toy went straight into the toy purge because it broke the rules (noisy, not wide age range, not creative, bulky, didn’t inspire open ended play). We also got rid of a duplicate doll stroller, a crazy amount of Happy Meal toys, and cheap costume jewelry that the kiddos actually never wore. Don’t hate me… but we totally purged Legos, Barbies, accessories, stuffed animals, gifts from loved ones, and expensive toys. If they broke the rules they left. Ben and I tried hard not to “rescue” things that the girls decided were meant to go. By the time we were done we had two or three large garbage bags full to the brim of “rule breakers.”
“On your mark… get set… GO!”
To finish out our day of purging we made sure all the “keepers” had been assigned a spot to live. Then we tested the system to see if we had hit our fifteen minute goal. We dumped all the remaining toys in the middle of the room and set a fifteen minute timer. We hurried to put the toys away where they went. All the toys in the room were put away with time to spare. The girls were overjoyed at how quick it went. Already they were starting to feel the benefits of having less.
As the week went on we did need to rescue a toy or two from the bin, but for the most part the kiddos seemed content with the more manageable amount of toys that they now owned. After a few weeks we all agreed to donate the bags of toys that we had set in storage. What a change we had felt in our home and we knew that we never wanted to go back to the chaos it once was.
Periodically when the toys start to feel like they need to be looked through we pull out the same rules (which we have since memorized- at least the major ones) and make the toys earn their place on our shelves. The girls have become quite talented at distancing themselves from excuses that once hindered me. Excuses such as “it was a gift,” “I don’t use it, but it’s so pretty,” and “it’s not taking up that much space” are not uttered anymore. It’s been such a great process to go through with them and to help teach them the skills that I had to learn as an adult. I hope these techniques continue to serve them well as they grow up. Now, to be completely honest, I do have a child that still struggles with wanting to keep everything. I try to give her boundaries and talk through her treasures with her. I never go through her stuff without her or declutter without permission. I feel that it would be a breach of trust, but I do enforce a boundary and help her to get the items to fit in her personal space. Every time we look through items she gets better and better at being critical about why she keeps what she has. Our initial purge was done in two epic days but the habit to be more minimal is a continual process that we take one day at a time. And it has been so worth the effort.
We play so much more now. The toys are more fun to play with because we can make huge messes knowing that it will all take about fifteen minutes to put way even the most epic playtimes. We leave the house more often because we aren’t feeling trapped by our mess. We build more puzzles, use more playdough, bake, and have more dance parties. I don’t remember feeling so free before purging. We have more time because we downsized our to-do list. Moral of the story – take back your space, take back your time. What could you do with an extra forty-five minutes a day? Duplicate that in every room in your house and you suddenly have your life back! How much time are you losing every day serving the stuff that’s supposed to serve you? Think about it. You have the power to take back your home and live a more fulfilling life.