Suddenly Homeschooling? Here’s 10 Tips and Tricks

Welcome! To those of you who don’t know much about me let me introduce myself. My name is Cindy. I am the wife of a working actor (Ben), mother to four beautiful little girls (ages 9,7,5, and 3) and I’m 36 weeks pregnant with our fifth little lady! We have been thoroughly blessed.

As I’ve discussed in previous posts, due to the nature of Ben’s job and the abundance of support we receive from the charter school system in California, we decided to homeschool this school year. Because of that, now that the Coronavirus is having everyone move indoors, I have had several friends reach out to me for homeschooling advice.

Now… to be perfectly upfront with you, I’ll say it one more time- this has been my first year of homeschooling. I am in no way an expert. I am not a veteran homeschooling mom, and I don’t have all the answers. But homeschooling doesn’t have to be anything crazy; little did I realize, I was homeschooling long before my children entered kindergarten and preschool. Sure, there are a few differences with a more “formal” education than playing with my toddlers who weren’t ready for school yet… but most of what I do has been really intuitive. Here are some of the tips and tricks.

Tip #1 – Teach Them at Their Level

Teach them at their physical level. If you have gathered your children together and they’re all sitting on the couch, sit on a chair or couch. If they’re on the floor, get on the floor. If they’re cooking with you in the kitchen, make sure they have a stool (or a stable chair) to stand on.

I have found that my children do better when I am “with them” instead of sitting in a position that makes me look like I’m “in charge” of them. They engage better. They participate more. They can see the pictures better. They can interact with me without feeling like I’m a far distance away. If you have a toddler, let them sit on your lap (although, if you have more than one child that might not be the best idea… they might start fighting over who gets to cut off your circulation).

Teach them at their educational level. If you have one child, this will be pretty easy. If you have many that you’re teaching at once, this might be a bit more complicated. Here’s what we do: we do language arts and math individually according to the child’s educational level, then I have one shared curriculum for science, history, and art for all the children.

You can do this in several ways- what’s important to realize is that not all the children will be engaging the entire time. My five year old and three year old do their own thing, for the most part, while my older two are expected to pay attention the whole time. That being said, you’d be surprised what my five year old knows about world history. Even if the little ones are not actively engaged in what we’re doing, I expect them to play or color quietly while we’re doing our family learning time.

Teach them at their emotional level. I went to the library a few weeks ago and heard a tutor teaching her student. The poor kid was not paying any attention, and I don’t blame him- the tutor was asking him questions in a singsong voice, saying things like, “Are you going to give Valentines to your Mommy and Daddy?” This kid looked like he was ten. If I talked to my nine year old that way, she’d stop paying attention instantly. As an adult walking by, I was annoyed with her tone. I wanted to whisper to the kid to run for the hills.

Here’s the deal… talk to your child the age that they feel. My nine year old assumes that she’s part of the adult conversations… so we talk to her like she is mature- someone who is responsible for her own choices. We ask her advice in things that impact her. We involve her in complicated discussions, and if she doesn’t quite understand, we never laugh. We talk to her with respect. We never baby talk to her. We never ask her questions that have only one answer. We engage her mind intellectually.

If your child feels like they’re being talked down to, they will instantly shut you out and stop giving you the respect you deserve. With littles, we hardly use singsong voices. We talk in terms that the children will understand but we don’t dumb things down more than we need to.

Tip #2 Don’t Allow Disrespect

And speaking of respect, children sometimes have a hard time with change- but that does not excuse poor behavior. They sometimes are not happy with the parent’s decisions. That does not excuse poor behavior. They might be hungry or tired. That does not excuse poor behavior.

I know I might have an unpopular opinion on this, but for us it’s worked. Poor behavior is not excused in any way. Negative actions have negative consequences. If a child decides to throw tantrums, they are allowed to have them- in their room. If they are yelling, they are allowed to yell- in their room. If they are talking back, they are allowed to collect themselves, in their room. Once they are ready to correct their behavior, rejoin the family and behave in a proper way, they may come out of their room.

I don’t stand guard or set a timer generally, unless they keep coming out of their room without being ready. Eventually they learn what being ready to come out of their room means and they can self-regulate. Before then, I redirect them back to their room until they are actually ready. If it’s something serious, I go with them and process with them. This system has worked for our girls. They have become much more in control of their emotions and can take time-outs when they need to.

Does that mean that they’re perfect? Of course not… they still have tiffs and squabbles. But… they never turn into big fights, and they can generally keep the squabbles pretty small. Ignoring poor behavior and allowing children to be disrespectful and angry does not fix the issue- it worsens it. It’s better to establish a home where respect and kindness is expected.

Tip #3 Lock Down the Kitchen

Many people have said that the worst part of having children at home is that they are eating ALL DAY. What I recommend is having set times for meals and snacks. You don’t need a rigid schedule… having a loose eating schedule works. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and a final dessert/snack. If you skip a snack here and there, it’s okay. No need to try and make it up. I tend to set a time limit like 15 minutes for them to get themselves a snack. We then continue with our day and the kitchen is closed until the next meal.

That being said… if you’re hungry, the children are probably hungry, too. Listen to them, listen to your hunger, and think about the time of day. I promise, your children won’t starve. They’ll eat at the next meal. If they’re hungry between food times, direct them to water. Water should be easily accessible and available at all times, as well as bathroom breaks. Public schools often struggle with that concept. Don’t bring that nonsense home.

Tip #4 You Have All You Need to Teach Your Children

Many children have come home with (or will soon be sent) packets of worksheets from their schools. Great. I suggest figuring out how many pages need to be accomplished each day. Have a separate folder to give them their daily work. Do not, I repeat, do not give your child the entire packet and tell them to work on it.

I don’t know about you, but being given a huge stack of papers to accomplish overwhelms me. If your child sees a stack of five papers, they will be much more likely to work on them because it looks doable. If given fifty pages, they won’t even start, even if you tell them they don’t have to do them all at once. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot. Just take the massive stack of papers and hide it out of view. Only present to your child what they are expected to do today (or if you have an older child, this week).

If you have not been given something for the children to accomplish, lucky you! Here’s where the fun begins (if you have been given a packet that’s filled with just math and language arts, this will help you too). Take a deep breath and tell yourself, “I have everything I need here at home to teach my children.”

Look at your bookshelf. If you don’t have a home library ask a friend to borrow a book or borrow from the library (assuming that they haven’t closed for the quarantine). Find a children’s encyclopedia, or a non-fiction book about animals, dinosaurs or plants. Pick a history book and a science book (for example, a book about world history and an encyclopedia about the human body). Find something that you think all the children will be able to engage in, or, if you have a wide range of ages in your home, you might want to teach two separate groups.

Many people find that having a basket with their curriculum choices really helps. This is often referred to as a “morning basket.” Put your book picks in the basket. Pick a novel that you’d like to read aloud to your children. If you have a wide range of children, tailor the book to the middle age range but be sure the oldest will enjoy it. Next, put in fun stuff you want to do, whether that’s art, cooking, sewing, robotics, art appreciation, memorization of scriptures, poems, etc.

Here’s a sample schedule of what to do:

1 chapter of your desired read-aloud

1-2 pages of your desired science book (or a simple chunk, if it’s a picture book you can read it all, if it’s a Magic School Bus book you can do half the book, if it’s an encyclopedia you can do one subject)

1-2 pages of your desired history book (use the same technique as the science)

(optional) 1 line (small children) or verse (older children) of the poem or scripture you’d like to memorize

1 family activity – do a work of art together, learn about a composer, have a music lesson, build a robot, cook together, etc.

Take a Break

Individual time – math and language arts

Individual reading time – at least 20 minutes

You’ll want to add language arts and math for each child individually. I call this individual time. There are many resources for math and language arts. If you all are interested in a blog on that subject let me know.

Tip #5 Grading is Not a Shame Show

Grades do not matter at all to me. I love the quote by Albert Einstein about everyone being a genius; some people are gifted in some areas, and other people are gifted in others. Grades on any given test, project, or paper don’t define a child’s intelligence. I do grade all their papers, but I only do so to help them find their mistakes and explain how to actually do the work correctly.

If your child gets every answer wrong on a math worksheet, don’t make them feel bad about it. You have just figured out that your child is struggling with a specific math concept. Good to know! Use that information to help your child. Make sure they know that that does not mean they are bad at math… they just have a gap in their learning that you can help fill! Ask what they don’t understand. Practice more basic skills. Try a different approach. And then totally praise them when they start mastering the concept.

Tip #6 Electronics Are Privileges

The rule in our house is that all school work needs to be done before they can earn electronics. That doesn’t include educational electronics as long as they are planned as part of the curriculum. Just turn them all off and take them away. Teach your children the healthy habit of first things first, work then play. And limit the length of time spent on electronics once they are earned. For us, the kids can earn half an hour of game time by doing all their other responsibilities.

Tip #7 Take Time To Exercise

Take breaks to do some yoga or go running outside. Put some music on and dance. Go up and down the stairs ten times. Have a wall-sit competition. Pretend to be different types of animals. If your child is struggling to concentrate, take a mental break. It won’t hurt to set a timer for 10 minutes and run around. When they get back, the work will be so much easier to do. But be sure to give a five minute (and one minute, for smaller children) warning before calling the kids back to work.

Tip #8 Homeschool Will Not Look Like Public School

You might be surprised that homeschool is often done in a lot less time than public school. The reason for this is that your kids get a lot more individual attention and there are a lot less kids to wrangle. A lot of public school hours go to turning in homework, sitting still and waiting for others, getting in straight lines, and doodling on the back of your worksheet while everyone else finishes their work.

Homeschooling a kindergartener takes about 1-1.5 hours. First grade takes 1.5-2 hours. Most elementary grades take 3 hours or less. When they’re not in elementary grades, most of their work can be done without a ton of parental involvement. Don’t be alarmed when it’s noon and all their work is done. You’re doing what you need to do. Don’t try to duplicate public school at home.

Tip #9 There is No One Size Fits All

What we do in our homeschool will be vastly different than what others do in their homes. We have a mix of worksheets and read-aloud type curriculum. Some families are entirely child-led, with no set curriculum whatsoever. Some families do all worksheets and bookwork. What works for my family might not work for yours. I have provided a simple schedule, but you might decide to scrap all of that and just do a few required worksheets a day. Great! You might decide to allow your child to choose from your bookshelf and just sit and read and read and read. Great! Do what works for your family. Trust yourself to make decisions for your circumstances.

If you have a child that refuses to do math, it may be helpful to have them read a recipe and cook with you for the day instead. You’ll be teaching them fractions, multiplication, and measurements. If your child hates being read to, but loves reading to themselves, you can adjust to their needs. Each child is different and learns differently. I have one child who is a visual learner, one child who is an auditory learner, and one who learns kinesthetically. I adjust how I teach to each child.

If you have a home with mostly toddlers-to-kinder age, forget most of the schedule. Just read with them and follow their lead with what is working and what isn’t. With my five year old, she does one page of math, one page of handwriting, and she reads some simple books to me. For science, I often send her outside with a magnifying glass. For history, we do coloring pages and cut out figurines. We watch educational shows. School just looks different for littles. Some days she just wants to play, so guess what she does… she plays. I’m not worried about it.

And last but not least –

Tip #10 Stop Worrying and Enjoy Your Children

If you decide that today you’d rather just celebrate St. Patrick’s Day than do school work, do it! If today is a rather amazing day for a backyard picnic or you’d like to spend the day making bread, do it! Relax! Involve your children in real life, and they will learn so much from real life experiences. They are learning so much just by playing and watching and interacting with you.

Take the time to teach them to make pancakes. Have them play soccer, and teach them how to take their heart rate. Play “Mother May I” and explore how animals move. Teach them about your job, and what you enjoy or dislike about it. Paint, dance, nap, collect leaves, watch clouds go by and thoroughly love this time when your children are home. Chances are, you’ll miss it someday.