Our Decision to Homeschool

You read that right. We’re homeschooling. This past week Jess and Liz had their last day of public school. It feels like it should have been bitter sweet… but to be honest, it was just sweet.

We have always made it a focus to have a stable home for our children. Once we made the decision to move to California to pursue acting, we realized that we’d have to change how we defined stability. Moving is often difficult; and moving in with my parents, we knew that, sooner or later, we would have to move again. But we figured we decided that wherever we are, as long as we’re together, we’re home. And so, whether we were here for one year or five, we’d go to the neighborhood school, our children would make friends, I would build join the PTA and volunteer in their schools. We’d be a part of the community.

Well… we tried the local school. Or, Jess did. It wasn’t a great fit for our family (for a refresher on why, check out these past posts – Girl’s Can’t Play Soccer and Operation Bully Proof). After she finished out first grade, we decided none of our kids would go there ever again. Liz got accepted into a local charter school, but Jess didn’t make it in (they did a raffle, and only Liz was picked), so we decided to put Jess in virtual school until she was admitted. Turned out we didn’t have to wait long, because the charter Liz was going to attend made room for Jess as well.

The new school was phenomenal. The teachers, the administrators, the school programs… everything was great. Not that it was perfect, of course; we didn’t count on transportation problems (see these posts for details – Car Trouble and More Car Trouble). And we didn’t know how difficult the attendance regulations would be with pulling them out for illness or family adventures in filmmaking (post on the short film – The Producer). But those problems were small, and were far outweighed by the benefits of attending. With both our children in such an outstanding school, we figured we’d stay there till we moved.

It seems the only constant in our life (other than each other), however, is change. In April, our family was involved in a musical. At our cast party, I was chatting with some friends. I mentioned that I would love to teach our daughter’s to dance, but that dance class, at this point in our lives, was out of the question. Lessons here are much more expensive than in Logan, and all our spare money was going towards Ben’s career. I was very surprised when they told me about another option: some charter schools in California will give education stipends to assist parents in homeschooling, and the funds could be used to pay for everything from school curriculum to ballet lessons or art classes, from horse riding lessons to parkour.

We’ve talked off and on about homeschooling since before Jess started kindergarten. Ben was homeschooled for several years in North Carolina and, for the most part, really enjoyed it. But we wanted our girls to be in public schools for the social component, and besides, the cost was always too prohibitive. With this new revelation, though, the possibilities for our children suddenly seemed limitless.

Jess wants to be an artist. Public schools here, even the wonderful public charter school she has been attending, don’t offer much by way of art instruction. With the support of the charter school funding, we could give her the tools she needs to delve into her passion.

My Liz has been wanting to dance ballet and take swim lessons. With the stipends, we could support her in those interests. We could purchase manipulatives that Ben has been wanting for a long time to teach the girls math concepts in the same way he learned them growing up, or get tools for Winnie to learn her letters and numbers in a more engaging way. We had already decided to keep Winnie home instead of sending her to Transitional Kinder (TK). But now we could truly have an amazing homeschooling experience for her, full of sports and play-based learning, rather than having her confined to a desk before she was ready to sit still.

When our children want to work background or travel with Ben on jobs, we can. When work gets slow here and we want to seek jobs in other states, nothing is forcing us to stay put. We won’t have to ask permission from anyone, or get in trouble for not having them in class every single day.

Don’t get me wrong, we know that school and learning are important; and they have had amazing teachers this year. But we teach our girls and we know them better than a cookie-cutter school system meant to put them on a conveyor belt with every other child in the country. They have consistently been at or near the top of their classes, and tested at or near the top percentiles for their grades. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from both Jess and Liz’s teachers that they supported my decision to homeschool. They both told me how able I am to teach them because they’re bright scholars, and they must have learned it from us. I know that we will hear so many unpleasant opinions about our choices… but knowing that our kids’ educators are confident in us made me very happy. Our girls are not suffering from spending time at home.

When my child wants to build robots or learn to code, we can make that happen. When the girls want to be professional ballerinas, graphic artists, Olympians, and naturalists, we can give them the tools they need to do so. We can go on field trips every week, instead of a few times a year. We can go at our girls’ pace, and let them take the time to explore thoroughly, develop and pursue interests, and bond as a family. The girls will get to socialize, not only with their peers, but with many different types of people, as we help out in our community, attend church functions, attend classes outside of the home, have playdates, and interact with family and friends.

As lovely as our time was at the public charter school, I won’t miss the long lines and crowds everywhere. The two hours spent every day in the pick up line, the drop off line, in addition to any other child centered activity offered on weekends around the city. I won’t miss getting calls from the nurse because Liz misses me and is faking sick to go home and spend time with me. I won’t miss the endless fundraisers, or the school uniforms, or heart-wrenching politics.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. Even without wasting those couple hours taking them to and from school, I’ll have less time in the day to do my chores and errands, because I’ll be spending all day, every day, with my kids. But we’re working on systems for distributing the responsibilities so that the girls are more involved, and I’ll be spending all day, every day with my kids! Woot woot!

Homeschooling through a charter is opening doors for my children that might have otherwise been forever barred. I am looking forward to giving them a personalized education. And, recognizing that the only stability they really need is home and family, I think we’re finally ready to fully embrace the adventure that is the life we’re in.