A New Appreciation

It has been such an adventure having the opportunity to work the same jobs as Ben. To get to meet some of the people that he’s told me so much about and seeing what he gets to see! It’s not a chance many women get to have, to do the same kind of work as their husband. I feel incredibly blessed. 

Recently I’ve had the chance to take a long time to get ready, just like Ben! I’ve had to re-learn how to style my hair. Yes…I did kind of forget a tad. No joke, I had to borrow my husband’s hair dryer. I can’t remember the last time I cared enough about my hair to blow dry it. I guess I am starting to have a motivation to care about my appearance too.

Since starting with Central Casting I have found that I really have neglected my wardrobe. The casting call says to wear something that most people consider a staple to a good closet (like a plain shirt in a solid color that is not black) and I find that I don’t have one. Partly because I would rather spoil my kids and my husband than myself. Really though the biggest reason is because the casting calls are very specific. I mean… if you had to sort out of your wardrobe anything that was patterned, floral, neon, red, black, white, or had a logo, picture, or words, your closet would be a lot skimpier too.

I have also noticed that I use the pronoun “we” way more than I should. I apparently take it for granted that most of the people I converse with know that I am married with children. I’m also seldom alone. I typically have at least one child or Ben with me, so I say “we” for everything.

“We’re going to find a potty.”

“We would like to order some cheeseburgers.”

“We’re planning on visiting in July.”

In fact… I often say “we” when in fact it should be “I.”

I realized I did this after an awkward conversation on set. I was saying “we” for everything!

“We are still working on getting an agent.”

“We are hoping to have a film reel by January.”

“We definitely miss the snow in Utah.”

No joke, the gentleman I was talking to was looking at me like maybe I had an identity disorder. When he asked “So, when did you… all… move here?” I realized my mistake. So I decided to rewind and tell him about my amazing actor hubby and my four children. Poor guy didn’t realize he’d get a life story from me. Maybe, for everyone’s sake I should work on my pronouns or just start my sentences with “my hubby and I.”

Working as a background actress these past few weeks has given me a new appreciation for what Ben does. I have seen how exhausting driving in traffic for two hours really is. I have noticed at four in the morning that there needs to be easy to grab and run breakfasts. I have noted how determined Ben is when he networks when others in holding are sitting around chillin’. I have felt the thrill of being offered a more significant role and the sting of sitting around waiting for my turn on set when so many others have already been on camera.

On the other hand, Ben has been jumping out of his chair to clean Adrie’s hands and face (and hair and outfit… let’s be real) after dinner or to change a diaper. Not that he didn’t do this before… but not like this. He’s also seen what it’s like to be exhausted after a long day of child rearing and wait up for me to come home. He’s been on the other end of saying goodbye. He’s been the one without the car having to walk six miles to pick up the girls from school. He’s been the one washing mountains of dishes, making meals, checking homework, and wrestling jammies on the toddler.

Now when Ben comes home after an all-night shoot I can commiserate and make sure he isn’t accidentally disturbed by a little one while he’s catching up on sleep. I buy Greek yogurt and granola for him to grab and go. And I try to make sure he comes home to a clean living room, because he’s done that for me and I’ve loved it.

Honestly… it’s been an amazing experience that has strengthened our marriage and appreciation for each other. The plan was to work together until Christmas and then reassess. So… we will see if I continue doing background as frequently. Regardless… I will have plenty to keep me busy. I’ll have to tell you about producing this week’s short film.