I survived potty training

Okay, so this is my third child that I’ve needed to potty train. You’d think by now that I’d be a pro. Haha. No. I have no idea. Potty training my oldest was so hard. We started training, then stopped, at least 3 times before finally finding a solution that worked for both of us.

With my second child I was determined not to have that happen again. So… I gently allowed her to make her own choices about using the potty. Well… that too backfired. My brilliant little 23 month old Liz figured out how to use the potty and basically potty trained herself (with some help and encouragement from her big sister). Well… can you guess how long a 23 month old can go between potty breaks? … Not long. 15-30 minutes to be precise. They also can’t reach the potty, can’t pull down their own pants/undies, can’t wipe on their own, can’t hold it for longer than a few seconds, and they can’t be trusted on their own in the bathroom (they like to flush a lot of toilet paper… or just decorate with it). So… now I was 8 months pregnant and I basically lived in the bathroom between my potty breaks and my almost 2 year olds. And… I had a nearly 4 year old running around the house too.

She was potty trained for three full days before I decided I was done. I had to get through the pregnancy and I was so exhausted. I also couldn’t go anywhere because she always had to go. Can you blame me? No… I better not ask. I couldn’t handle it okay! I had to have a grown up conversation with my little one telling her that I knew she was ready… but I definitely wasn’t. I have since had to have very similar conversations with her sisters as they have pushed boundaries I wasn’t ready for (like crossing the street without holding my hand). She was so sweet and allowed me to rely on diapers for another 7 months as I adjusted to 3 kiddos. At that point I gave her the green light and she was potty trained in a day at 2 1/2 years old. No joke. I have given her sole permission to tell people that she was the perfect child. I take no credit for that. She’s more like her daddy than me anyway.

So… you see. I have no idea what I’m doing… and yet, they were both potty trained. So here I am with a 3 1/2 year old who is thinking it would be cool to know how to potty. And yet… I’m not entirely sure I know how to not mess it up.

I was lamenting to a friend about how I had no idea what to do and she helped me by giving me some pointers and resources to help. I decided to give it a shot.

Since we live in a house that is not my own I tried to be as respectful as I could with my parents house. We rolled up the rug in the living room and spent most of our time in that room because it has hard floors. I also banned Winnie from the couches and put a special protective cover (a towel and a trash bag) on the chair that she was allowed to sit on. I took away all the diapers and gave Winnie underwear of her favorite characters. She was so excited about them because suddenly she qualified for the “big girl” title. And yet, they weren’t enough motivation for her. Funny enough… none of my kids have even blinked an eye at the phrase “Don’t pee on (insert favorite character name)!” Honestly… they couldn’t care less. They sometimes haven’t even cared if they’re walking around for a half hour in peed in clothes. *face palm* My self-trainer being the exception of course.

After several accidents (and having her clean them up) I decided to listen to my friend’s advice and went to the store to buy her some prizes. I purchased a few small toys and fruit snacks. I was very thrilled to get to spend money on what I knew Winnie would love. Those chances come so infrequently. The last time I bought her a toy that was just for her it was Christmas… or maybe she got shoes from us. Regardless… it’s been too long. Because it is so infrequent and the toys so personalized, she finally had good motivation to go on the potty. Even still, the first day was so hard. She only went in the toilet once… on accident. Which is what I was told to expect and yet, still frustrating. Not to mention exhausting trying to follow her around the house making sure she didn’t sit on the furniture and saying to her “Let me know if you need to go potty” every two minutes. She couldn’t yet distinguish the feeling of needing to go so day one was mostly teaching her what it felt like to go and feel the consequences of not going in a toilet.

Day two she was determined to earn some of her toys. She did not earn any that morning… but by mid afternoon I noticed that something clicked. We were sitting at the table and Winnie stopped what she was doing and kind of shifted uncomfortably. I noticed and brought it to Winnie’s attention and we ran to the potty. Success! By the end of the day she had several more successes (and a few accidents). But by the time bedtime rolled around I was certain that she was finally getting it.

Day three was going to be great! Winnie woke up dry! She then went in the potty and stayed dry until about noon. Yeah… she forgot. It happens. That day she won the rest of her prizes though and was declared potty trained. We didn’t dare take her anywhere for a good week, but she was “potty trained.”

It’s been several months now and my little one is now terrified of public toilets (they make scary noises). She also still “forgets” more often than I care to think about (or clean up). But… I have realized that all of the girls had pretty consistent accidents for the first year after being potty trained. It’s just part of the process.

I was chatting with a friend recently who said that she was tired of diapers. Just a word of warning to all those who think that when their child is potty trained it’s the easy road… think again. New and messy challenges await you. I guess that’s true with growing up though. I better enjoy these accidents while they can be easily taken care of… and while the cost is relatively low. Like my mother tells me on a weekly (or more frequent) basis, “Enjoy them. They grow up too fast.”