He’s Not Superman

Ben has always been Superman to me. When I was just starting to date him, I, of course, Facebook stalked him. As I looked through his photos, I found this awesome picture of him as a missionary for our church. Just going off to save a few souls. Apparently, while he was in Chile, random people who had no idea who he was would stick their heads out the front door as he walked by to shout, “Hola, Clark Kent!”

Once we started dating, anytime someone asked me how my boyfriend looked, I told them, “Well… he looks like Superman.” I still describe him that way, actually.

Funny enough… Ben not only looks like the Man of Steel, he acts like him, too. He’s a defender of the weak, a voice for goodness, a gentleman… and he has the firm belief that he can do anything. And he does! Growing up, many of his friends (and all of his coworkers) even nicknamed him Clark Kent.

What a surprise and blessing it was, then, that he was able last month to audition to be Superman at Six Flags! This job would have been perfect for him. It would have allowed him to set his own hours, which for an actor is a huge deal; actors often are asked to make it to auditions and jobs spur of the moment. It would be a dream come true to actually get to play the part of his childhood hero. And it would have been a steady job with really decent pay.

Casting Central has been great, but not very consistent. Some weeks he has lots of work, and other weeks none at all. Getting a job like this would have been really reassuring, just knowing that we’d definitely have enough to pay the bills, while still allowing him to work as an actor. And seeing as how he’s been a Superman doppelganger his whole life, we figured the job was as good as his.

Hundreds of people applied for the position. They only called about twenty in to audition. Ben made it through to the final stage of auditions, along with five or so others. Then, for that final callback audition, they brought him in to try on the costume. When he tried it on, the costume director told him that she hoped he would be chosen for the job; she said he looked the most authentic of any of the Supermans she’d ever seen.

They sent pictures and videos of the final six men into Warner Brothers Studios for final approval. Basically, they needed to make sure that whomever they hired for the character would look, sound, and feel just right… would be the image of Superman. It seemed like nothing more than a formality, given how perfect Ben was for the role. Then, after weeks of waiting to hear back from the studio… we finally got the news. Ben had not gotten the job. He’s not Superman.

I was so upset by it, for a few different reasons. This job would have made our financial life more predictable and stable. It would have been a blast to take our girls, and my nephew and nieces, to the theme park… my nephew is slightly obsessed with superheroes. And what’s more… who wouldn’t love to be the wife of Superman?! I would have definitely loved telling little children that I know the real Man of Steel.

Ben, however, has such faith. He knows that there’s a reason why we didn’t get this role. Maybe there’s something better that we should be doing this summer. Or maybe there was a lesson we could only learn through this kind of disappointment. It wasn’t the first time Ben had been perfect for a role- anyone who knows him could see it-, and then not gotten it.

I’m inspired by how he can take these kinds of situations, situations where it would be so easy to be bitter or complain, and instead, trust that it will all work out for our good. That kind of resilience is a powerful tool in this industry, because disappointment is just a part of the job. It can take 50 or more callbacks before you get a role.

And, to be fair, there have already been good things that have come from it. Ben found an amazing acting coach through the process; the man running the auditions turned out to be a perfect fit for what we’d been looking for in a mentor and instructor.

Regardless… Ben is still my Superman. We know there will be other disappointments along the way… in all likelihood, there will be many. There will be times when all goes as planned, and other times where we have no idea what’s happening from day to day. And when the timing is right, they’ll see that he is Superman, too. Until then, in good times or otherwise, I’m just glad we get to share this adventure together.